Republican On Republican Violence

When Elephants Attack Each Other: Texas Edition

It’s been a rough week, hasn’t it? A good laugh is sometimes the best way to get through tough times. And let’s face it, few things are funnier—or more absurd—than Republican chaos.

As we are all aware, Mango Mussolini’s second term will be a shit-show of epic proportions. For example, only yesterday, Trump announced reparations for white people. I kid you not.

While the orange one still has two months before being inaugurated, the absurdity levels have already reached new heights. The chaos this week surrounding Trump puts two Texas Republicans right in the center—US Senator John Cornyn and Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton.

First, the backstory:

Cornyn and Paxton have clashed over various policy issues, including foreign aid and border security. In February 2024, Cornyn voted in favor of a $95.3 billion aid package for Ukraine, Israel, and Taiwan, a decision Paxton criticized as prioritizing foreign borders over domestic concerns. Paxton labeled Cornyn an “America Last RINO,” while Cornyn retorted by highlighting Paxton’s legal troubles.

Cornyn has publicly referred to Ken Paxton as an “embarrassment.” Paxton has repeatedly suggested that he attempt to primary Cornyn in the 2026 Senate race.

This feud has been happening for at least a year, maybe more. That brings us to this week.

Will the orange one pick Ken Paxton as his Attorney General?

That would be a nightmare for America. Placing Texas’ most corrupt and crooked politicians in charge of the Department of Justice, in a coveted position once held by the likes of Robert F. Kennedy and Edward Bates, would be another screeching alarm marking the end of democracy.

Paxton has long been a Trump sycophant. He challenged the 2020 election results, participated in Trump’s attempted insurrection on January 6, and repeated Trump’s words during his impeachment proceedings in 2023. Paxton’s consistent and public alignment with Trump’s positions and narratives put him on the shortlist for US Attorney General.

However, Senator Cornyn is not playing that game.

According to the alt-right publication Current Revolt, Cornyn has pledged to block a Paxton confirmation in the Senate. How will he do that? Well, as it turns out, Cornyn is in the running for Senate Majority Leader.

The Senate Majority Leader race, which the other Republican Senators will determine, is down to three GOP Senators: John Cornyn, John Thune (SD), and Rick Scott (FL).

Let me tell you, Texas Republicans are not having it. They hate John Cornyn because of his feud with Ken Paxton, who they idolize. Last year, the pro-Paxton propaganda, led by Tim Dunn, was highly influential on Texas Republicans. Now, you have Republican clubs in Texas passing resolutions against John Cornyn as Senate Majority Leader. Like this one:

And now we arrive at the pièce de résistance of Republican dysfunction: the Texas GOP’s tantrum over John Cornyn. You’d think the various Republican Parties in Texas would have bigger issues to deal with—like, I don’t know, the crumbling power grid or a third of their policies seem to be written in crayon. But no, their top priority is to fight one of their own because he dared to suggest that Ken “I swear I’m innocent” Paxton might not be the ideal face of justice.

Apparently, Cornyn’s real crime isn’t just opposing Paxton’s potential promotion to the DOJ—it’s that he’s insufficiently loyal to Trump. In Texas GOP terms, that’s practically treason.

And while all of this is happening, Ted Cruz announces he’s backing Rick Scott for Senate leadership vote, snubbing John Cornyn.

Meanwhile, back in Austin, the fight over the Texas House Speakership is heating up.

As discussed on Monday, Representative John Bryant (D-HD114) was considering entering the Speakers’ race. Yesterday, he officially filed.

It’s funny to watch Republicans lose their minds over this, as many of them are saying, “One less vote for Dade Phelan.” Of course, with the GOP in the majority, they won’t take a Democratic Speaker seriously, but because of their infighting, they are unlikely to have the numbers to vote a Speaker in.

Right now, on the Republican side, there are two nominees, David Cook (R-HD96) and Dade Phelan (R-HD21). According to the Texans United for a Conservative Majority PAC, here is the current score of pledged votes:

• Phelan: 11

• Cook: 45

• Unpledged: 32

They would need 76 votes from the 150 House members to win the Speakers’ race.

To win, Cook would have to win over all of the current unpledged votes. Phelan would have to win over the Democratic votes to win. And John Bryant? Bryant would have to get the entire Democratic caucus plus 14 Republicans.

It is easy to get the entire Democratic caucus to agree on one thing. They mostly get along and know that, as the minority, they have to move in solidarity. But getting 14 Republican votes? This year? With polarization at an all-time high?

I mean, this is the same Republican Party that can’t agree on the time of day without someone calling someone else a RINO and another forming a PAC to fight the clock and expecting them to cross party lines and vote for a Democrat? You’d have better odds of Ken Paxton suddenly confessing to all his crimes on national TV.

So while Bryant’s candidacy is a fun twist in the circus of Texas politics, the odds of him pulling off a miracle coalition are about the same as Ted Cruz becoming likable: not impossible, but exceedingly unlikely.

Meanwhile, check out this open letter from J. M. Lozano (R-HD43) to the Texas Tribune. 🍿

Lozano implies that Phelan’s only hope for survival is to cozy up to Democrats, which, in Republican terms, is like saying he plans to run for office in a Che Guevara T-shirt. The horror! Lozano concludes by blaming the media for all of this drama. He boldly claims they’re covering up for Phelan because… reasons. And if the Trib doesn’t ask the “ultimate questions,” they’re just another cog in the liberal machine. Yes, you heard it: the Texas Tribune is apparently in bed with the left. Who knew?

And so, the circus continues.

With the GOP tearing itself apart over Cornyn, Phelan, and the Speaker’s race, it’s clear that the drama is far from over. Will Cornyn fend off the pro-Paxton mobs to secure Senate Majority Leader? Will Paxton’s ambition land him a spot as Trump’s Attorney General? And who will emerge victorious—or just intact—from the Texas House Speaker chaos?

One thing is certain: this Republican soap opera has plenty more episodes to air. Every week seems to bring a new plot twist, fresh infighting, and another reason to stock up on popcorn.

So stay tuned because the Texas GOP has a knack for proving that just when you think they’ve hit rock bottom, they manage to dig a little deeper. The drama is only beginning, and who knows how it will all unfold? We’ll keep watching, laughing, and waiting for the next chapter in this Texas-sized political meltdown.

• December 9: House Administration Committee meets to debate rules.

• January 14: The 89th Legislative Session begins.

• March 14: The last day Legislators can file bills.

• June 2: The 89th Legislative Session ends.

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