The Real Housewives Of The Texas Legislature

They came for the memes, stayed for the public humiliation.

Don’t forget. Saturday is election day. If you didn’t early vote, Saturday is your last chance to have your voice heard in local elections.

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Yesterday, the Texas House gaveled in at 10:00 am and didn’t gavel out until almost 9:00 pm. After that, the Committee on Public Education met until after 6:00 am. That’s a 20-hour day. Then, they had to be back on the House floor for today’s session, which also started at 10:00 am.

How did they do that? It takes me three days to recover from the daylight saving change. It’s hard to imagine the impact that this has on the Representatives’ circadian rhythm. Trying to shove all the government business of a state with 30 million people into 140 days every two years is how we get here. One of the many reasons we should support a full-time legislature and pay them a living wage.

But why did they have to stay up so late? For one, the Public Education Committee had to hear Stan Gerdes’ (R-HD17), a.k.a. Confederate Stan’s, conspiracy bill that would fine schools for having a litter box for children to use the restroom in. (Not satire.)

First of all, this conspiracy has been widely debunked. Secondly, this is what happens when you elect people who still believe in Lost Cause propaganda. Burning the midnight oil in the Texas Capitol so lawmakers can entertain internet hoaxes and Facebook uncle fever dreams. It’s not a misunderstanding. It’s not a miscommunication. It’s a lie, pushed by people who want to stoke fear and distract from the real issues facing public schools.

This is precisely how bad-faith actors grind government to a halt. They manufacture outrage over imaginary problems, then demand legislative solutions to fix them. And the cost isn’t just lost sleep for lawmakers. It’s the erosion of public trust, the diversion of taxpayer dollars, and the slow strangling of our public education system.

Confederate Stan doesn’t want to improve education. He wants to rile up the base and build a brand off of buzzwords and boogeymen. And every minute we spend humoring this lunacy is a minute we’re not spending on kids who need help.

When Gerdes closed on the bill, Jeff Leach (R-HD67) and James Talarico (D-HD50) had a testy exchange. Leach accused Talarico of auditioning for higher office while defending Gerdes and his own record supporting public schools.

For the record, both Leach and Gerdes voted for the voucher scheme, proving that they do not support public schools. Maybe all Republicans know how to do is lie? 🤷🏻‍♀️

When you don’t let the House members get any sleep, they get cranky.

Which could explain the fireworks we saw between Jeff Leach and Brian Harrison (R-HD10) this morning. 😁

By far, this is the best legislative clip I’ve made all year. Well worth watching (it’s 20 minutes long, if you want to come back to it).

Brian Harrison’s ESG bill hearing was a train wreck of his own making. He came armed with talking points from the Heritage Foundation but couldn’t define basic legal terms in his own legislation. Ann Johnson (D-HD134) called out the performative nature of the bill. Paul Dyson (R-HD14) tried to walk Harrison through legal definitions he clearly didn’t understand, and Jeff Leach scolded him for scrolling on his phone during the hearing.

It was a delicious bipartisan smackdown of Brian Harrison.

And if Republican-on-Republican violence is one of your favorite blood sports, you’re going to love what happened today.

Dade Phelan, former House Speaker, has been under constant attack from the far-right ever since Ken Paxton’s impeachment. He had one hell of a primary, which cost $17 million. For a House seat, that’s one of the biggest price tags in history.

During his election, constant lies, some generated by AI, circulated. There was a picture of Phelan shaking hands with Nancy Pelosi, as well as another of him standing next to Xi Jinping. And the boomer voters in his district believed they were real photos (no offense to boomers). And a lot of these AI-generated photos came from anonymous sources and unidentified PACs.

So, Phelan’s bill requires political ads using fake or altered media, such as AI-generated images, audio, or video of a candidate, to include a clear disclosure that the content did not occur in reality. Violating this requirement is a Class A misdemeanor.

However, as we’re all well aware, the far-right isn’t based in reality, so for the past few months, they’ve been talking about how Dade Phelan plans to “ban political memes.” Despite that not being what the bill says, the Brainworms have still lied endlessly about the intent, subjecting Phelan to daily, far-right meme attacks.

(For those of you who are newer, we voted on the nickname to call the far-right a few months ago. The Brainworm Brigade won. It’s lore, now.)

And all of that came to a head today, and my-oh-my, get your popcorn.

First, the Brainworm Brigade took turns at the back mic, peppering Phelan with lies. They didn’t do it for clarity or honest debate. They did it for video clips, most of which have all been posted to their Twitter accounts.

I give you 30 minutes straight of pure, unadulterated Republican-on-Republican violence:

Yes, it gets better. During one of Andy Hopper’s (R-HD64) amendments, which failed, Erin Zwiener (D-HD45) asked him some straightforward questions that made him appear to be a corrupt liar. It was very embarrassing for him.

Then, Nate Schatzline (R-HD93) and Brian Harrison took turns stroking each other’s egos. It was like two peacocks puffing up their feathers in a Dollar General parking lot.

Nope, they weren’t done there. Next, the Brainworms attacked another of their own, Giovanni Capriglione (R-HD98).

The far-right has convinced their voter base that Democrats are “secretly” running the house, and Dade Phelan is an “undercover Democrat.” Their voters eat it up, believe it’s true, and attack their own because of it. These lies, among others, are the sole reason the Texas GOP is in a civil war. But, if anything, all this entertaining spectacle proved was that the Brainworm Brigade probably doesn’t have five brain cells to rub together.

And the very best speech to come out of this fight, and maybe even the best speech of this session, was from Democrat Christian Manuel (D-HD22). It’s really, really good.

In the end, here is how the votes landed:

Those nays (all Republicans) need to be someone’s election targets. At least half of them can be flipped if their districts saw a 70 %+ turnout. Aside from being far-right fascists, with this vote, each of them admits to being willing to spread lies to win. Integrity matters.

I mean… what even is this timeline?

The Texas House stayed up all night for a fake litter box bill, wasted half the next day watching Brian Harrison fumble through legal terms he clearly didn’t understand, then spent the afternoon eating its own over a bill that simply asks for honesty in political ads. Meanwhile, Republicans are accusing other Republicans of being secret Democrats while posting AI images of Nancy Pelosi and Xi Jinping.

It’s a conspiracy-fueled reality show with bad lighting and no script supervisor. And somehow, these are the people deciding the future of public education, corporate accountability, and basic democratic norms in the second-largest state in the country.

Make it make sense.

• May 3: Local and County Elections

• June 2: The 89th Legislative Session ends.

• June 3: The beginning of the 2026 election season.

• Click here to find out what Legislative districts you’re in.

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